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| Adieu Bonu |
| 06.10.04 (10:23 am) [edit] |
Bonu's Death came as a surprise.
Got me feeling empty.
We'll miss you Bonu.
We've lost a son, brother, an inspiration.
Adieu Bonu. May your gentle soul rest in eternal peace.
Bonuola Onayemi (Bonurock) 1977 - 2004. You'll be missed
Omonaija.
:cry:
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| Dreams... |
| 06.07.04 (10:07 am) [edit] |
I've been having wierd dreams. Gets me so scared.
Two days ago, about helping others in times of need. And not saying NO when someone begs for something. The next day, my landlady, who happens to be in her eighties calls me and begs me not to move; even offers to reduce my rent. But I have to. My dream keeps haunting me. I wonder if it is a warning from God?
I have to move.
Yesterday.
I dreamt that I became pregnant. Now, pregnancy is not a bad thing, but timing is. I was supposed to be upset, but I wasn't. I told my partner about the pregnancy, he was concerned, but very quiet. I was just so happy about it. :shock: I told one of my friends that my dad would be upset about my pregnancy at this time in my life, but he'd come around. I didnt care.
Then I woke up.
Both dreams have left some uneasiness in me. What is God trying to tell me?
Confused.
Omonaija
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| Days gone by... |
| 06.04.04 (4:39 pm) [edit] |
Its been a while yall. Good news, bad news.
[b]My only sister is getting married!!![/b]
Her then BF, now fiancee proposed. I was in on it, but it took a lot not telling her. I'm so happy and excited. I wasn't this excited when my brother got married. I thank God for her life. Lord knows she's been through a lot. Wedding is next summer... I gotta hit the damn gym cos I can't be looking all blom blomish in picturesss..ya dig? Planning started already.
When my aunt let me in on the secret(the proposal), I was extremely happy, but reality hit me hard at the same time. Like gosh, I remember our young days in naija, walking around the house in nothing but panties, always fighting cos the room was untidy, our days in boarding school, man feels just like last year.
Now she's getting married. Soon it will be my turn. Like I'm not getting any younger and I have no solid plans yet. My mum is already on my ass. Praying and all.
Graduated this May, well not officially.
I'm 3 classes short. But December it is. I have to take start planning my next move. Grad school and all. I don't even know what city I want to settle in. I'm the most confused person I know.
He's still in my life. Its still new. :) I'm luvin' it.
Don't ask questions :oops:
Its getting warm here. Moving to a new apartment at the end of the month. I'm excited. About moving, not about the money.
Cheese and Crackers.
Omonaija ;)
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| Fuck it |
| 04.29.04 (5:40 am) [edit] |
I have Issues. I admit it. We all do.
Omonaija
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| Anger |
| 04.22.04 (6:40 pm) [edit] |
I have so much anger. In me.
Anger toward me. Anger at the world.
At me, because I let things happen;
Bad things.
I feel like I can't get through.
Most times I'm stuck.
I'm going around in circles.
My goals, unreachable;
Sinking in the Atlantic.
At the world, because it keeps judging.
How do I constantly endure judgment?
Everyday? Based on the color of my skin?
My Nationality? What I possess?
What I lack? My History?
The world is constantly judging.
I feel anger, for I'm helpless
I feel anger, for my weakness is constantly used to belittle me.
I feel anger for there is nothing I can do to stop it.
I feel anger because I cant save me.
I feel anger because my life has come to a screeching halt.
I feel anger because my anger is slowly turning to hate; to destruct.
I feel anger, for my anger will be the death of me.
I tear, for my soul is long dead.
Omonaija
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| Songs about Him... |
| 04.10.04 (8:08 pm) [edit] |
Where you are seems to be
As far as an eternity
Outstretched arms, open hearts
And if it never ends then when do we start?
I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive
Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you come back
I have some things to say
How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I...
Dream away everyday
Try so hard to disregard
The rhythm of the rain that drops
And coincides with the beating of my heart
I'll never leave you behind
Or treat you unkind
I know you understand
And with a tear in my eye
Give me the sweetest goodbye
That I ever did receive
Pushing forward and arching back
Bring me closer to heart attack
Say goodbye and just fly away
When you come back
I have some things to say
How does it feel to know you never have to be alone
When you get home
There must be someplace here that only you and I could go
So I can show you how I feel
Maroon 5
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| Smoking Ciggarettes... |
| 04.09.04 (8:31 pm) [edit] |
...is like an abusive boyfriend...he beats you, and you keep going back.
Omonaija
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| Mood? Restless. |
| 02.29.04 (1:20 pm) [edit] |
Restless.
Tired.
Hallucinating.
Attended Soul Food dinner yesterday.
T. still tryna get me to see Passion
I said hell no.
she yelled OK!!!
Na by force?
Slept a little
Woke up at 2am
Decorated the house
Cleaned the Bathroom
Drank some Apple Juice
Slept Again
Woke up at 9am
Checked emails
Watched "Surutu"
Slept again
Feeling tired
Restless.
I have a paper due on thursday
I have not started yet.
Any paper Ideas on Computer Security? (Onlovin and techies)
Thinking of TX.
Texas, Texas, Texas
Thinking of Tope
How he's changed.
Like what the hell happened to my big brother?
Oh well.
Thinking, Thinking, Thinking.
*Sigh*
Omonaija
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| Things are looking good. |
| 02.26.04 (9:15 am) [edit] |
Today's been a busy day for me. One interview, two midterms.
I just interviewed with a pharmaceutical company. The guys was almost thirty minutes late, but I won't complain cos I was offered the job. :lol: .
I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I'm gonna keep my current job, just work some weekends when they really need me. They're willing to work around my schedule, the pay is good, God is just awesome. This is the first of many interviews to come. I really wanted KC, but I'll take this one. :lol:
I got lucky because the owner who happens to be Haitian, wanted a more diverse company. Talk about networking at the right time. hehehe. I'll be stuck in this hood for a while, but I dont mind.
So I finished one midterm already, the last is at six. My other class got cancelled earlier this week. Ill be in TX in two weeks to see T. Im excited. I really need a change of environment. :P
Its been a while sha. Job searching, resume writing, setting up interviews, working, school, man, its been mad busy. But I thank God that I got something out of it all.
T wants me to go see Passion of the christ with her. I aint going to that crap. That dude is capitalizing on the life of Jesus. lol. I've heard of people fainting and having seizures during the movie. Like what the fuck? What will I watch there that I don't already know about the death of Jesus? lol. Americans. hehehe.
I told yall that my sister went home earlier this year right? So Ma sent me some dankua through her. My sister sent MY dankua to my brother by mistake. WHICH WAS A BIG ASS MISTAKE. Cos my brother can eat dankua for a week non-stop. Anyway, I BEGGED him to send MY dankua. Guess what? I got home from work monday evening, expecting to see a package at my doorstep. This bozo sent me 10 single dankuas in a tiny envelope. I couldnt get mad, cos it was just funny..lol..might as well not have sent anything at all.. what the hell am i supposed to do with it? lol.
Omonaija
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| body odor? |
| 02.10.04 (3:38 pm) [edit] |
Friday afternoon, I'm at the bus station, staying away from the cold, a black lady walks up to me
lady: Hi
me: Hi
lady: How are you today?
me: doing good, you?
lady: (holds up a black plastic bag) would you like to buy some body odor?
me: excuse me?
lady: would you like some body odor, you know (touches her right armpit) body odor?
me: (raises eyebrow) Err, no thanks. (walks away)
What the fuck?
Omonaija
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| Starting Over |
| 02.05.04 (12:11 pm) [edit] |
Now that Madgi's gone, I have to move on.
Oscar will be here in two weeks. It wasnt too expensive, I'm sure i'll like it. It won't make up for Madgie's loss though.
Sometimes, losing something is a sign to move on to bigger and better things. :)
Oscar has a better config, a LCD, faster processor, its going to be hot. I think i'm gonna have mad fun with Oscar. Can someone remind me to invest in Zip Disks?
I didn't really have to shop around much. Oscar just happend to be on sale for a little over 600 this week. I'm happy.
I put my whole day on hold on tuesday. Went to school around 10, and re-wrote all my Java codes. I took off work for that day. My boss understood.
She could be nice sometimes, but I still think she's a beech though.
My sister is back from naija. Looking forward to my donkua. hehehe.
T. Called me on monday, to check on me. She knew I was very depressed after Madgi's death. Madgi's still sitting in my dining area. Life goes on.
Can't wait for Oscar.
Omonaija
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| In loving memory of Madgi Aug. 2002 - Feb. 01 2004 |
| 02.03.04 (10:10 am) [edit] |
Madgi died on sunday. Shortly before the superbowl ended. I was working on it and shouting for joy when the panthers scored a touchdown. Then it collapsed. I got mad at it again. I screamed. It had been sick for about four weeks. It had a virus. But I was too stupid to take care of it. Then its system got corrupt and I lost all my files. I lost the love of my life. :cry: :cry: I had no backups. I was so stupid. :cry: :cry:
I took it to the doctor yesterday at bestbuy. He looked at it and said, "Sorry ma'am, there is nothing I can do". I broke down and wailed.
My files.
Two years of work.
Completed presentations.
Hours of coding.
Grad school files.
Hundreds of pictures.
Music.
Gone. Just like that.
No Backups.
A part of me died with Madgi yesterday. I'll miss it.
In loving memory of Madgi. RIP. :cry:
Aug. 2002 - Feb. 01 2004
[image]omonaija_927360120 .jpg[/image]
Omonaija
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| 1.27 |
| 01.27.04 (7:53 pm) [edit] |
I stayed home all day today till I had to go to class....the roads were so bad. Got some work done from home though...watched Starting over this morning on Fox. Pretty interesting show. A bunch of women live in a house together in a Chicago suburb and undergo start a new life together. I liked the idea. Too much bitching though.
What else? T. is so sweet. Showed up for my birthday with gifts.
Guess what? I fell down again in the damn snow. :x Sucks.
I get to go on vacation in March...yay. Its paid too..hehe...got my tuition reimbursement from work yesterday...pleasant surprise...nice birthday gift...hehehe
I thought about my finances today...I have three credit cards...Bank One, CapitalOne and Firstpremier...Firstpremier basically does nothing but sit in my wallet as decoration...so I called and cancelled it. Not that I have any use for it anyways. I'm one card free now ..yay:D
Nite.
read this blog
[url=Carteblanche.tblog.com]Carteblanche[/url]
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| Ope ni f'oluwa 1.25.04 |
| 01.24.04 (9:40 pm) [edit] |
I'm a year older today.
I thank God for his mercies, for his protection
For keeping me alive till this day.
To him be the glory.
To Naijagal, Sunday, Odiamaka...Happy Birthday and God bless.
Omonaija
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| Frustrated Again. |
| 01.22.04 (10:51 am) [edit] |
My computer is seriously pissing me off. I have a virus. Although I have Norton antivirus installed on my computer, somehow, that stupid shit managed to creep in.
Its been rebooting itself for the past week or so now. That ish is really annoying. I did all the updates, started in safemode, ran scans...mention it, and I've done it to this stupid computer. De tin still no gree work. Right now, I want to throw this crap in the nearest river! :evil: I swa. It doesnt help when 95% of all my classes are online.
flsdfl'sdfoperpofgsdflsdf osfd0rooperosdwoweopwp0!! !!!!!
arrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
:( :cry: E no go better for pesin wey write that virus in Jesus name.
Number two, aren't women 'posed to go 21 days before the next period appears? Mine cycled 15 days and decided it was time to punish me again. gosh. :roll:
No signs, nothing. Just taddaaaa.
Bills have just been flowing in since the begining of the week. Trust the electric company to pull a 360 on me. Got the damn bill yesterday for $88 dollars!!! Like damn. I know I turn my heat up, but damn!!! Just got the school bill today too. I hate America. They won't kill me in this country. MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY. I dream of winning the lottery everyday. Can't wait for that tax refund, I swa.
Thats all for today.
Omonaija
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| Crazy Life |
| 01.18.04 (7:40 am) [edit] |
I woke up, turned on my computer and on my right were two yellow post it notes. I read them and remembered they were feelings I couldn't hold in at work about a month ago. I had to let them out. I don't know why I never put them on here, but I will now.
Been listening to Tracy Chapman's music a lot lately. India Arie too. Something about their music just calms me down. Makes me think deep.
My Aunt was braiding my hair the other day and I tuned the radio to 89.3, the Classical music station. She looked at me crazy.
[LINE]
Its amazing how big an impact society has on you.
How it makes you feel like shit one minute,
And makes you feel like the shit the next.
Its not cool.
How you alter your life and change you just to fit in.
How you struggle not to succumb to society's pressure;
and after a big fight, you give in.
It's crazy, but it happens every day.
We all want to [i]belong[/i].
Sometimes, I see me.
I see my life in others.
I hate it.
Ridiculous, but true.
T. said to me the other day:
"You hardly talk about men"
Like when girls get together and talk about their men
Or the men they wish they had
I never say a word.
Yes, I think about it ,
I don't discuss it.
It all just seems like a waste of time.
Three strikes and that's it for now.
This is what I couldn't keep to myself
Thinking about my life and life itself
In my tiny cubicle at work
When time can't seem to go fast enough.
♥
Omonaija
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| Frustrated 01/15 - 01/16 01/35AM |
| 01.16.04 (5:38 am) [edit] |
I got frustrated installing my J2SDK Java software yesterday, I took some pictures....to keep myself from getting even more pissed. Enjoy :lol:
My messy comuter area
[image]omonaija_138838283 4.jpg[/image]
The screen!
[image]omonaija_927360120 .jpg[/image]
The book
[image]omonaija_119652588 3.jpg[/image]
Frustrated me
[image]omonaija_985852527 .jpg[/image]
Omonaija
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| Mood Status: Restless |
| 01.15.04 (12:00 pm) [edit] |
I'm so restless.
School started Tuesday night, so far so good. I think taking my JAVA class online was a mistake. The instructor lives in the UK, he's from China, and he sounds mean :( Hopefully, I'll be okay though.
Why is it that this site is down whenever I decide to post? OK, OK...its free, but dang, they be messing with my feelings oh. Its not fair at all. :D
What else? Work is fine.Pretty busy but I won't complain. We had a lot of snow yesterday...I was so surprised. Tuesday night, we barely had anything and I woke up wednesday morning to a pile of snow in the driveway. Oh well....
Amazon.com is really getting on my nerves. I ordered my [url=http://www.amazon.com/exec/ob...]Computer Security book[/url] last tuesday, and I still don't have it yet. :( Its annoying. Besides, the class starts tonight.
Speaking of tonight, I hope I don't see Colleen, or see her minutes before my class, cos that lady can talk someone to death! :shock: I want to be nice about it and all...but she never stops. Just keeps going and going and going and going... :roll: Like "sharrappppp... I've heard this six times already..arggggh"
Mom and Toye will be here soon, I'm excited...
Topsy got back okay from Nigeria....through Lufthansa though...lol...he got scammed by World Airways too...he was lucky he had people that could afford plane tixs...lol. World Airways...they really need to do something about those people...they can't scam hundreds of people and get away with it just like that. I'll always be paranoid about Naija businesses like that. I dont think some people even knew that Flyrite/World Airways was operated by Naijas even. Oh well. I'd rather spend the $2000 with BA and sleep peacefully...lol. Don't knock me.
Anyway, gotta go back to work!
Omonaija
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| Happy Nu Yur. |
| 01.05.04 (9:03 pm) [edit] |
Better late than never.
Xmas was nice.
My sister was in town, so was my brother { well for a few hours...he had [i]business[/i] to take care of as usual } lol.
Got a few gifts...Best Buy Gift Certificate {I adore tech toys}, DVD player, VS Gift Certificate {my sister tryna be funny..lol} and some DVDs.
Someone gave me a tin of Danish butter cookies. lol. Here I am trying to lose weight, and I get cookies for xmas. I thought it was a sweater at first, cos it was wrapped in a Marshall Fields box. I was disappointed, but at least he was thoughtful. lol
[LINE]
Fast forward to New years eve. I worked half day and went to a naija house party. It was off da hook. I had a lil' too much champagne to drink...[i]two or three glasses[/i] and I got so tipsy. I didnt have to drive though, so it was cool.
There was a older Gambian dude that cleared the whole floor with his booty dance. It was mad funny. Too bad I didnt take any pictures.
A lot of deaths around xmas time. There was an accident on Hwy 41 on the 24th. Yemisi's greyhound bus was a few cars behind. It coulda been her. But it wasn't. For that I'm thankful. About three accidents and 8 or 9 people dead within that week. In this area alone. God was definately good to us.
2004 will be a good year. I finally get to graduate asnd start grad school. I'm excited/nervous. I will leave this area/state after five years. Get a better job.
2003 was a good year. 2004 WILL be a great year.
I know.
Omonaija '04
P.S. My birthday is coming up. 25th. :wink:
Should I make a wish list?
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| Numb |
| 12.17.03 (7:08 pm) [edit] |
I'm so tired :x
I need to start my shopping, seriously...I haven't even started yet. Not spending much this year {cos I'm broke and have a bunch of CC bills to pay off}, but anyway, yea, I start on saturday morning. I know my sister wants a coach bag, which doesnt come cheap. I'm praying F and B spend xmas out of town so I dont have to worry about them.. :lol: yea, I'm cheap like that...hehe
My coworkers saw me on monday and thought all that weave was my hair...oyinbos...lol...I was basically bald four months ago and now I have 10" hair!.. :lol: I didn't tell them the truth sha. :D
I really need to cook. I think my aunt is fed up with me coming over for dinner almost every day... :cry: and I can't go to T's apartment. That has to be like once in two weeks. So I guess I have to go grocery shopping and try my luck. God, I can't wait till Xmas when I can pack food. Thank God for Campbells and Progresso soups!
Whatever happened to Tracy Chapman? I miss her music.
Omonaija.
Reminder: Meeting w/Nancy Mon. Dec. 29th 6pm @ starbucks.
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| Words and Pictures |
| 12.13.03 (6:07 pm) [edit] |
Driving to awards...
feelin'
cute, nuh?
Day after...Toyin and James' graduation
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| Mood Status: Somewhat happy |
| 12.06.03 (9:49 am) [edit] |
:) :) I wrapped up my science class this morning...did my last presentation, got an A overall...not bad. All I have left now is Discrete Math Final...350 pts. 30% of the final grade. So I have to be up early tomorrow morning for my group meeting at Barnes and Noble.
I was there last week. Alone. Its a real nice place to chill and take things easy. There's a starbucks in there. I like that.
So I got a new TV for my room yesterday. I was lucky cos I'd been looking for a while. I was at work when my co-worker told me about it. Circuit City had a sale and I got a 20" for $100 bucks. Not bad, eh?
I chilled with T. yesterday. She's my sierra leonean girlfriend. When I left Circuit City, I went over to her apartment and had dinner. I picked up her album and flipped through it, I saw the program for her mum's funeral. She told me about how her mum died of breast cancer five years ago in war torn Sierra-leone. Her family went through a lot. As I listened, I cried because I felt so sorry and I could not imagine myself in her shoes at the time. The cancer had spread all over before they could do anything. Imagine having breast cancer without medications and funds. During a war. They lost the only medications they had while running and hiding from the rebels. She's strong though. She basically raised her younger siblings with her father after her mom's death. I saw the picture with all four kids around their mother's corpse and I cried. Their faces were so blank. Makes me appreciate what I have more.
Last week was AIDS week. I should go get tested again. I remember when my uncle died of AIDS. No one knew at the time. He just lost a lot of weight and got really sick. Had some stuff all over his body. We all thought he died of lung cancer, because he was a chain smoker. Two years later, his wife died. Then we found out that she got AIDS through her late husband.
Some people back home don't even belive it exists. They're in denial. I was listening to [url=www.abeokuta.org]MINI JOJO[/url] last week and they discussed it. I was glad to see that influential people took it upon themselves to raise AIDS awareness.
Still a little sick, I'll start my Xmas shopping on thursday. My sister is visiting for christmas, so it should be fun.
Thats it for now.
Omonaija
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| One down, two to go. |
| 12.04.03 (10:52 pm) [edit] |
Just completed one final online now...*phew*. This semester is probably one of the hardest I've had. I think I had the flu twice this semester already. And I feel it coming again. I need to get the shot. *sneeze!* :x . My nose hurts from cleaning all damn day now. Gosh.
Last night was mad funny. Did I tell yall? I called the cops on one of my neighbors the about three weeks ago...yeah, I'm mean..lol :lol: ..he makes too much damn noise at night, playing his music all loud and shit!! And I was tryna get me some sleep. I just couldn't take it anymore...I had to call the cops. They asked me if I wanted to come outside and meet them, I was like nah...lol..y'all take care of it. I chickened out. My neighbor still has no idea that it was I that called the cops..lol. The apartment manager didn't help, so I did it....hehe.
So last, 11pm'sh, I'm working on stuff, he starts playing his music loud again. I was so mad. But I didn't want to call the cops again, y'know? All of a sudden I hear "Bam! Bam!! Bam!!!". Nosey me pokes my head out. I see two other frustrated neighbors are banging this dude's door, yelling over his loud music. They almost knocked it down. They're like "Turn the music down!!! Some of us have jobs and have to wake up in the morning, blah blah blah..."sha yabbed the dude ...I closed my door..hehe. I didnt want him {noisemaker}to see my face, cos you never know what these oyinbos are capable of. Black woman living alone..uhmm. He eventually turned his music down. Still didnt sleep well.
I was sneezing like a crazy woman all day at work. Talked to Aunty B and she could tell immediately that I was sick. :( Oh well.
I noticed the site was down and it erased some of my blogs... :x..I should prolly shut up, cos its free..hehe.
I started my taebo today...the crunches are so hard...ill try sha. :P
Nite.
Omonaija
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| Saturday, 11/29/03 2:12AM |
| 11.29.03 (1:52 am) [edit] |
I shouldnt be up now...I just feel restless sometimes, its scary. I can't sleep. Too much on my mind.
I noticed my taste in music has changed within this past year. I was more hiphop/ rap fan, but it all just seems like garbage to me now. It doesnt really make sense. I opt for soft rock{dido, norah jones}, rock {3 doors down, evanessence}, neo soul {floetry}and the new Nelly furtado single aint bad either. Different beat. Nice. Hip hop doesnt make sense anymore, y'know? I still stay up late sunday nights for soul music though. The old school love songs.
I just got the new Taebo tape. 20 minutes of exercise everyday wont hurt. :D .I add more pounds during the winter 'cos I just get lazy. I better start working those pounds off before graduation.Gotta look good in dem pics. :D
Thanksgiving was cool, I was up at 8am'ish, worked on my paper and journal till 2pm, got some important work done. Deen and Yemi picked me up and we all went to Aunty B's. The food was good. Greens, Mac n Cheese, Dressing, Pound cake, etc, and some soda. Yemi balanced my Chem. equations for me. She's a genius.
I'll try to get some sleep now :wink:
Omonaija
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| Its been a while... |
| 11.26.03 (3:49 pm) [edit] |
Finals are right around the corner. I'm searching for another job. I can't do this job anymore. Its actually more of a burden now than a learning process. So, yeah, its been keeping me quite busy.
So tomorrow is thanksgiving...Ill be at Aunty B's with Yemi, Idris and co. should be fun. I have to be at work on friday though. One of the reasons why I hate my job :roll:
So God answered some of my prayers and I'll be featured on WPKR {NBC 26} sometime next week. I informed my boss about it and he told me it was cool. Afterall, he wrote my recommendations. So there I was at work this afternoon, the camera rolls in. My female boss[assistant GM] starts bitching about some shit like "cameras are not allowed here". I let her know that I had the OK from the GM. She's like "Oh, Ok". No apologies, nothing.
What a bitch. Wasting my damn time on some stupid isht. I think that woman hates me f'real. Always on my case and all. Another reason why I fucking hate working with women. You have to deal with their shit during PMS!!! Like FUCK OFF JARE. Then another co-worker just pissed me off today. 'member Ginia? The one dating the dude from marketing? Well, they moved in together after two months. Not that its any of my business, but when katakata burst now, we all have to deal with that in my dept. too. Fucking losers. :roll:
Maybe I'm over-reacting, but fuck it.
I see a lot of people got bit by the blog bug. Things like this, I can only share with few people, but not a place like [url=www.naijaryders.com/forums]NR[/url]!!! People all up in your business n shit. whatever.
That's all there is to bitch about today.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Omonaija
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